the truth underneath whats witnessed

to be honest , life's been quite hectic these days . the fact that im still trying to fit myself in this new chapter of my life makes me kinda want to throw up . what the fish bdak2 semue pndai2 . i've been sleeping late like 3 days in a row . and gonna have to sleep late again today to work on my assignments otherwise i'll be the dumb-girl-in-the-class again . 
fate oppose my dream when im agaaain , rejected by mara to proceed my studies in medic . sincerely , im kinda lost in this world of surprise . future is unpredictable . future is frightening . thinking my friends left me behind , when im trying to lift my heavy hope in a condition where i couldnt vomit as much effort as i can . too much to think of that i couldnt reach the conscience as a student . 
dont tell me to be strong cause i've tried and still trying . give me some time alone . alone for me to regret my doings . alone to summon my spirit back to when i was strong back then . alone to think about what i should do to face whatever obstacle Allah gave me . and to find the answer Allah trying to tell me .

farewell and assalamualaikum 

My parking story PG18

tadi aku keluar dgn haziq , nada dgn ari tengok Avengers . aku drive . aku ni mmg tak pndai sngt tau masuk parking . haha , mase dtg kereta tak bnyk pun , so skali mase tu nak parking kepale tapi mcm senget2 la pulak kan . so ingt mcm nak reverse je parking kat blkg sbelah lori sbb tibe2 kereta mcm terreverse betul2 sbelah lori tu . 


so cerite nye mcm ni . lori tu senget . so automatically aku pun parking senget la . tapi tengok mcm tak rmai org so takpe la . kitorang pun masuk la tengok avengers semue2 tu skali mase balik , kereta dah penuh . rase berslh sbb kereta aku senget . then i found a note , very pleasant and warm . boleh jatuh cinta aku dgn penulisnya . tapi act gambar ni yg duplicate . note tu dah komot2 bagi ari . ari buang . 


lori tu dah takde buat mcm aku salah 100 peratus . haha . eh fahamla saya P . please jgn marah . nasib baik saya tak menangis tau ! 


huhu saya taknak buat lagi !

looking forward towards future

recently i checked and dpt kolej matrikulasi dekat johor . i didn't plan to go ( never on plan ) . kesian dekat unfortunate people out there ( baca slang canadian ) yg nak sngt matrik tapi tak dpt . pdahal aku bknnye nak dari awal . tapi cume as back-up plan . pada pendapat amilia farina , matrik adlh sesuatu yg membuang masa bagi dirinya . haha . sbb , result aku kire mcm dah okay . kalau proceed ke matrik , aku akn amik medic jgk nnt . rase mcm seolah2 tambah mase 1 tahun utk nak dpt result lagi gempak . okay dah ni .

insyaAllah mintak scholar mara dekat aucms dan msu tu dpt . kalau tak dpt pun , UPU ade lagi . kalau haziq nada semue tu tak perlu risau lagi . confirm dpt scholar . im so anxious about the upcoming interview for MARA scholar ( if dapat la ) cause my english level is not that high . if boleh pun , aku boleh tulis je . please interviewers , boleh tak tulis jwpn atas kertas je . hahahaha . plus , im really that clumsy . its my genuine behavior .

i never knew how my future would be . i pray fate would be on my side . even though im not that keen towards becoming a doctor ( referring my MARA essay ) , tapi at least tu jela yg aku rase paling okay . i mean , siape taknak kan dpt title doctor . bkn nak berlagak tapi rase mcm cool gile . hahaha . lagipun , i mmg nak tolong org sakit . actually aku nak study overseas tapi kan , 3 A+ je ( im jack of all trades ) . very ineligible .

tokse tulih panje2 . nnt takdo oghe nok baco . haha . so guys . pray for my success . farewell !

My MARA essay

   My name is Amilia Farina binti Mohd Rais . I was born on 17^th of October year 1994 which makes me 18 years old this year . I am the second daughter of the family with a sister and a little brother . My family is currently staying at Taman Seri Gombak . I was schooling at SMK Taman Seri Gombak during the SPM examination . Undoubtedly , ever since I was a kid , I latent a deep interest upon becoming a doctor . I struggled to seek the best result for all my big examinations . I passed my examinations with flying colours ( UPSR(5A) , PMR(8A) and SPM(9A) ) . I believe I’ll be struggling with stronger spirits to be an excellent and dedicated doctor in any ways . I embraced myself in many curricular and co-curricular activities to enhance my self-quality into a student with a higher values .

   I decided to pursue my study in any university in Malaysia because I believe in its credibility and it’s well established system . I have made some research and was gobsmacked and honored by the success of some of our national universities . I found myself interested on doing pre-medic or foundation in science for a year before proceeding to degree in medicine for about 5 years . I’ll gain experiences within two years of housemanship either in government or private hospital in Malaysia . I’ll do master afterwards and do my specialization in pediatrics . I also have a compelling reason why I chose to further my study in Malaysia . I hope during my time studying here in Malaysia , I learn to become loyal to this country for I always wanted to serve my best for we Malaysians .

   Choosing doctor as my future career has always been my dream . I love to make people happy as well as I hate to see people hurting . I know I am no superhuman to enhance the quality of all community members . But at least I could save lives . And perhaps the live of a future engineer or a scientist that somehow could develop Malaysia into an advanced country across the globe . Apart from that , I discovered myself having a sense of inquiry which makes  me curious in subjects related to health such as biology . I am so keen to explore more about health in science . As Malaysian citizen , I realize that I am bound by the obligations towards other citizens as well . I’ll contribute my knowledge and skills in medicine to cure and heal Malaysian citizens . I promised myself to keep a good attitude as a doctor especially when handling youth generation . I don’t want to be just a doctor . I want to be a role model originally shaped by our nation , Malaysia . 

Niall Horan (Best Bits) + his laugh

Its a long story about JPJ day , so grab your popcorn

A day before yesterday I pergi JPJ test utk dpt P . To my surprise , a day before the test , I received a shocking yet enthusiastic IM from my long lost friend who sat right next to me in class . he had no idea I had a huge crush on him back in gred 6 ( yeke ? darjah 6 gred 6 ? ) haha whatever . so dye ckp " esok kau ade JPJ ke ? " . and I was like " OMG he noticed me ! " . mlm tu I found out , dye pun ade JPJ same hari dgn aku , and tmpt same . he confirmed that , sbb dye ckp , dye nmpk name aku dlm list name tu . again " OMG he noticed me ! "

esok tu tak sabar gile nak pergi JPJ . 2 reasons :

1. Im a bit confident I was going to pass the test

2. what the hell ? my ex crush will be there ! Im totally meeting him !

pakcik azmi ( my agent ) promised to pick me up at 10 , so I showered at 9 planning to have a breakfast then while waiting for him . tapi tak smpt ape2 , baru je lpas mandi about 9.15 something , pakcik azmi called telling me his on his way to pick me up . and I was like , " duhh ! " . Ravenously , aku pun pergi la IMKL tu dgn tak berbreakfastnye .

pakcik azmi bawak aku masuk office dari blkg . as we were walking to one of the counters , I found myself standing in front of a boy which brought my spirit back to when I was twelve . ceyh ayat novel . tapi mase tu dye membelakangi aku la . and then I glanced away as I was a little scared he might not like me for I am always a shy girl . HAHA ! but he noticed me grinning alone like a Cheshire cat and I noticed that so I went " OMG what should I do ?! " . so I braved myself and sat next to him . his face , ahh , how could I describe , serene . eventhough he was cuter when our conversations were havoc back then . his face still drowned myself in memories of a first crush . our conversation went good and warm . I started the conversation ( not the usual me ) " hye ! kaw sesi berape ? " . dye dtg sendiri so dye taktau ape2 . so I pun bawak la dye pergi dekat list ( ouh heaven ) . kitorang sembang2 la sikit2 . okay mase kene berkumpul dlm dewan , I don't know why I was so stupid , we walked barely together because I don't know whether to walk with him or not . and I bet he felt the same way , because both of us like , walking alone but close to each other . masuk dewan , dye duduk atas kerusi belah dalam , ( hopefully he was hoping me to sit next to him ) , tapi aku pergi duduk kat tmpt lain ! well it was a quick decision , I dont want him to feel stringy by me . that would a cost a pride to me . bosan gile dlm dewan tu , sumpah lame nak mampus tunggu .

okay this paragraph is all about the test . angke giliran aku sepatutnye 5 , but since that number 3 didn't show up , , I came up with number 4 . ( because number 4 moved up to number 3 ) . I was starting to shake . I was nervous . Btw , I saw Wan Aminur Rahman . okay I heard stories pasal clutch kereta tak same . dahla nasib mmg selalu malang kan . kereta yg aku dpt tu , bergetar2 , dari stereng hingge ke aircond . adeh . clutch , paddle minyak , terlalu longgar . handbrake , pun longgar . mase dlm kerete tu mmg doa2 . mase turn aku tu , aku bawak dah cntk dah ! weh berhenti tepat2 ! minyak , okay , clutch okay , " ughh ! " tarik handbrake . " noooo ! " kereta undo . stupid ! and then aku taktau nak buat ape ! I was so embarrassed when the JPJ lady , or should I call witch , shouted at me " woi ! kluar dari kereta tu skrg ! kaw dah gagal ! " . aku ketuk tgh2 stereng tu , lpas tu keluar . habis maruah aku tergadai begitu sahaja di tgh2 jalan . Mase nak dpt cop JPJ tu , I bumped into Farhan . I told him about my failure . and my tears started to run down my cheeks . Farhan pun bagi semangat .

moving on to bahagian 3 . jalan raya . lame gile tunggu turn , mase tu semue org mesti lalu jalan 2 , sbb jalan 1 ade wedding . I was so confident Im gonna past this test ( at least ) sbb , eh aku tau la aku boleh bawak . haha . Sepatutnye actually , aku dpt JPJ perempuan , aku dah cuak gile , dah mengadu2 dekat makcik sbelah aku tu ( dye pass bukit parking and 3 penjuru . okay I was pissed off ) . skali , I was lucky enough she was out for break . not long enough . aku dpt JPJ llaki . bersyukur dah nih . bukak pintu , " assalamualaikum pakcik ! " enthusiastic gile ! but then , krek krek .......... no answer . and I was like , " what the ...... " . so I settled on with the 5 free marks . and suddenly , a monster voice appeared ... ceyh ! " jalan ! " . terkejut aku . aku pun bwk la . cuak ni . dah keluar tu , aku tukar gear 2 , then aku baru sedar yg aku bwk tak smpai 10 km sejam . aku baru sedar yg pedal minyak tu , aku tekan baru mukadimah , kene tekan lagi dalam . nak elak lubang la . smpai tak sedar aku dah mkn jalan . lpas tu pulak pakcik tu jerit " apesal mkn jalan ni ? " . I was concentrating , takde mase la nak jwb weh ! kaw tu tulis markah je ! so aku diam . lpas tu dye jerit lagi kuat " kenape awk mkn jalan ?! " . terpaksela jwb . sayup2 je " sbb saye nak adjust kereta " . lpas tu pusing dekat jambatan , then tibe2 je dye ckp " berhenti kat sini . so I was like " what the ? belum smpai pasar gombak lagi pun ! " then dye pun ckp " awak tau tak ape kesalahan awk ? awk dah buat 2 kesalahan . satu , awk mkn jalan mase keluar , due , awk langgar double line mase corner . " . so I took a quick look at the road . mane ade double line , I know la dah terpadam , but I was sure enough I handled it correctly . yg mkn jalan tadi tu mmg la . I bet he drew the double line himself in his mind . so patah la balik . malu gile sbb skejap gile bawak . just a few minutes leaving IMKL , dah patah balik . so I met Wan . lpas tu aku cerite dekat dye , menangis . lagi . at least bagi la aku tunjuk kebolehan dekat jalan raya , tak masuk jalan raya pun lagi !

phone aku mati mase tu . so tak tau mcmmne nak balik . I wandered around IMKL for hours before deciding to knock on pakcik azmi's house a few metres away from IMKL . smpai rumah dlm pukul 3 . tak solat lagi ni . call kaknini , umi , ari , nada , wana ( dye tinggal phone ) , fara , haziq , omar , azri . menangis2 dekat phone smpai 3.45 . I was dissapointed with myself . repeat 15 March . hopefully I passed or Im gonna post another long story like this .

One Direction's Niall Horan talks going home, getting naked and er, chic...