These people

Assalamualaikum and hye everybody,

korang mesti pernah experience kan, bila org yg lebih dari korang tapi taknak mengaku . okay nnt aku terangkan . 

situasi 1

A : eh eh , result kau mase SPM dulu mcmmne ? mesti gempak kan . *A dpt 7A dlm spm
B : eh taklah . tak bnyk pun , 10A jeee .
A (dalam hati) : mmg kau sebenarnye amik 20 subjects kan ?

situasi 2

B : A awk dpt berapa maths ? 
A : tak tinggi pun . 70 je . 
B : okaylaaah tu !!!
A : sedih la ramai markah tinggi . awk dpt berapa ? 
B : 98 je . sbb terlupe nak letak negative sign kat soalan last . *buat muke sedih 
A (dalam hati) : mmg . lain kali kau pergi ckp kat menteri pelajaran letak gred D utk markah tinggi2

situasi 3

A : *sedih* alaaaa duit biasiswa tinggal 200 je nak survive 3 bulan 
B : untunglah dah guna duit biasiswaaaa *duit biasiswa B tak guna lagi plus mak bapak tambah*
A (dalam hati) : lain kali kalau aku mati dulu ckp la "untunglah mati dulu" boleh ?

situasi 4 

A : eee kurus gila kau , B ! *B keding mcm papan keping*
B : mane adeeee . gemuuuk laa . rasa mcm nak diet je . 
A (dalam hati) : meh aku lenyet kau dgn lori baru kau tau kurus tu mcmmne 

yeah , itu adlh some examples yg aku pernah lalui . *biasiswa tu takla* . well , these people exist ! and im living with them *PORQUEEE ?!!!*. bile baca mmg obviously aku A . guys please la aku beg . kalau dah badan tu beruntung , jgnla buat yg kurang beruntung ni rasa lagi teruk . of course i know tht some of u guys cube nak cheer up people yg mcm aku ni kan and i appreciate tht . tapi ini tak proper . not for me . okay ? so guys ....

farewell and assalamualaikum 

my major dilemma

hye assalamualaikum,

have u ever felt jealous with people around u ? close friends ? atau ,,,,,,,adik beradiiiiik ? *baca dengan nada suspen* JENG JENG JENG ...

typicalnya aku ni , di mana rasanya very obvious , aku mcm ada la rasa sedikit kebelakang *bnyk sebenarnye*drpd kakak aku . nak ckp jealous tu dulu laaa . now bila aku mcm dah matang i tried to install the word jealous differently dlm otak . something more positive . like , rasa tercabar or something . nak sahut cabaran tu mcm mmg impian setinggi langit la kan . because secara rawaknya ( ape maksud rawak ? suke hati aku je ) kakak aku mmg always , u know , everything yg syok2 mesti on her side la . education , property , physical appearance and sometimes , yah , mental maturity and semue sifat2 natural tu la . *btw she's very creative

u know , that feeling , bile org mula menyuarakan atau mempersoalkan perbezaan kitorang . aku rase offended , inferior and kadang2 itulah yg menyebabkan aku mempunyai low self-esteem *ye ke?* dan rasa sedih just by having thoughts , "kaknini lagi pandai , belajar medic" "kaknini sentiasa berduit , even mase die ckp takde" or "apehal kaknini ni sentiasa terserempak dgn baju2 on sale ?" haha k yg last tu gebang sikit . because i was always in this state ataupun conversation that require perbandingan kakak-adik ni . and yes, aku mmg jenis yg sngt kisah ttg ape yg org ckp ttg aku . 

trust me u would find loads of things she had that i dont . tapiiiiii tapi tapi tapi , it is very sinful for me to weep over my fate kan . so even bila aku masuk bilik die , bukak closet die ke , bukak purse die ke , somehow motivate aku , supaya bersyukur because i know that , se-tak-bersyukur aku pun dgn ape yg aku ada ni , ade lagi org yg lagi teruk yg mendambakan kehidupan mcm aku . 

so guys, walaupun entry aku ni takla bermotivasi pun , tapi at least u should know , that , org mcm aku ni masih wujud lagi and im trying to fight my negative thoughts yg akn eventually menyebabkan aku sediiih akn perkara yg tak boleh diubah . i  cant change my fate , so by hook or crook i have to live with it .

but since she has everything n i have some ( i wont say nothing ) , if i lose her , i'd probably lose my everything 

assalamualaikum and farewell 

Medic ? No longer qualified

wow . aku sendiri terlupe yg aku mmg obses nak masuk aucms proceed medic dulu until aku bace balik post2 aku yg lama kan . haha , act bile dah belajar kat asasi ni , aku rasa peluang nak amik medic tu tipis sngt lagi nipis dari lapisan ozon ah ( hambar ) . lagipun aku mcm dah lost interest dekat medic ( atau putus asa aku pun taktau la ) . 

act aku rasa aku gila2 nak amik medic dulu sbb kakak aku medic . honestly aku rasa inferior dan malu bila kaum keluarga mula menanyakan soalan2 berkaitan career ini . since family aku kebanyakannya mmg doctors , and kakak aku pun bakal doctor , semue org pun mcm tak habis2 nak menyanjung2 tinggi career ini , aku selalu ditanyakan " na amik medic kan ? " atau " yelaaa , na kan bakal dr " . sepenatnye aku nak jawab " eh mane ade " . penat lagi aku nak jwb bila diorang akn tnye " eh kenape ? " yelaaaaa . CGPA i ni , tinggi la sngt mencakar langit kan . sem 1 3.63 je . tapi alhamdulillah , semakin aku sedar yg matlamat hidup ni bkn dr , and aku sedar yg , i deserve to be happy in whatever career  i venture into , and aku takut Allah marah kalau aku selalu mempersoalkan bende2 mcm ni .  so aku decide utk campak jauh2 ke negara china impian aku tu . sbb once aku sedar , impian aku bkn untuk jadi dr tapi sebenarnye utk melepaskan diri aku drpd rasa rendah oleh masyarakat2 ini . ( padahal ade je cita2 nak jadi dr ) 

ah , nak ke tak , i have to live with what i earn . kalau dah tak layak tu its okay , aku sure Allah dah tetapkan something yg baik utk aku .

farewell and assalamualaikum

i dont know how to blog

ceh , ckp mcm ni first entry kan . haaaa . act aku mmg tak reti bende2 blogging ni . kalau ade entry tu maksudnye semangat gila ah time tu . ni pun sbb cuti so sngt bosan aku ingt aku nak tulis something la kan , so rase mcm writer novel mcm tu kan . haha anyways i dont know if im gonna be active updating blog since cuti akn berlanjutan smpai bulan 9 and kerja pun takdaaa . takpe kite tengok jela nnt 

farewell and assalamualaikum

the truth underneath whats witnessed

to be honest , life's been quite hectic these days . the fact that im still trying to fit myself in this new chapter of my life makes me kinda want to throw up . what the fish bdak2 semue pndai2 . i've been sleeping late like 3 days in a row . and gonna have to sleep late again today to work on my assignments otherwise i'll be the dumb-girl-in-the-class again . 
fate oppose my dream when im agaaain , rejected by mara to proceed my studies in medic . sincerely , im kinda lost in this world of surprise . future is unpredictable . future is frightening . thinking my friends left me behind , when im trying to lift my heavy hope in a condition where i couldnt vomit as much effort as i can . too much to think of that i couldnt reach the conscience as a student . 
dont tell me to be strong cause i've tried and still trying . give me some time alone . alone for me to regret my doings . alone to summon my spirit back to when i was strong back then . alone to think about what i should do to face whatever obstacle Allah gave me . and to find the answer Allah trying to tell me .

farewell and assalamualaikum 

My parking story PG18

tadi aku keluar dgn haziq , nada dgn ari tengok Avengers . aku drive . aku ni mmg tak pndai sngt tau masuk parking . haha , mase dtg kereta tak bnyk pun , so skali mase tu nak parking kepale tapi mcm senget2 la pulak kan . so ingt mcm nak reverse je parking kat blkg sbelah lori sbb tibe2 kereta mcm terreverse betul2 sbelah lori tu . 


so cerite nye mcm ni . lori tu senget . so automatically aku pun parking senget la . tapi tengok mcm tak rmai org so takpe la . kitorang pun masuk la tengok avengers semue2 tu skali mase balik , kereta dah penuh . rase berslh sbb kereta aku senget . then i found a note , very pleasant and warm . boleh jatuh cinta aku dgn penulisnya . tapi act gambar ni yg duplicate . note tu dah komot2 bagi ari . ari buang . 


lori tu dah takde buat mcm aku salah 100 peratus . haha . eh fahamla saya P . please jgn marah . nasib baik saya tak menangis tau ! 


huhu saya taknak buat lagi !

looking forward towards future

recently i checked and dpt kolej matrikulasi dekat johor . i didn't plan to go ( never on plan ) . kesian dekat unfortunate people out there ( baca slang canadian ) yg nak sngt matrik tapi tak dpt . pdahal aku bknnye nak dari awal . tapi cume as back-up plan . pada pendapat amilia farina , matrik adlh sesuatu yg membuang masa bagi dirinya . haha . sbb , result aku kire mcm dah okay . kalau proceed ke matrik , aku akn amik medic jgk nnt . rase mcm seolah2 tambah mase 1 tahun utk nak dpt result lagi gempak . okay dah ni .

insyaAllah mintak scholar mara dekat aucms dan msu tu dpt . kalau tak dpt pun , UPU ade lagi . kalau haziq nada semue tu tak perlu risau lagi . confirm dpt scholar . im so anxious about the upcoming interview for MARA scholar ( if dapat la ) cause my english level is not that high . if boleh pun , aku boleh tulis je . please interviewers , boleh tak tulis jwpn atas kertas je . hahahaha . plus , im really that clumsy . its my genuine behavior .

i never knew how my future would be . i pray fate would be on my side . even though im not that keen towards becoming a doctor ( referring my MARA essay ) , tapi at least tu jela yg aku rase paling okay . i mean , siape taknak kan dpt title doctor . bkn nak berlagak tapi rase mcm cool gile . hahaha . lagipun , i mmg nak tolong org sakit . actually aku nak study overseas tapi kan , 3 A+ je ( im jack of all trades ) . very ineligible .

tokse tulih panje2 . nnt takdo oghe nok baco . haha . so guys . pray for my success . farewell !